26 December 2008

Play Doh Fun!

Here is Aryan and Mumma with the best of their creativity..the last one is all by Aryan alone :-D





16 December 2008

Big Brotherhood

Long back I told you that Aryan is a big brother now. He has got a cousin younger to him, thats my brother's son Tejas. So an update on big brotherhood.

He was so amused to see a small baby. He did not know what to do with the baby and he kept on looking at the baby with love and amusement. Then they both holded hands and aryan kissed his hands. The little one also enjoyed the importance , especially from his elder bro! Its so lovely how Aryan addresses him as "Chota baby".

Whats getting funny these days is when he sees a small baby's pic on my computer screen saver , he doesnot understand if thats Tejas or himself. So the same pic is addressed as Aryan and Tejas at different times.

Some pics from October , when Aryan met Tejas :

"Mumma,See Choooota sa baby"


" Small small hands"


:-)


"Pucha :-)"

8 December 2008

Is this justice ?

Aryan is going through a phase when he just wants things to be done in his own way and he becomes VERY VERY aggressive when when we say NO or scold him for something. Its becoming increasingly difficult for us to handle him. This saturday was one of those bad days when he was too excited and which means he was misbehaving way too much and I was angry and irritated.

So during the day we had many sessions , when I told him that I am angry and I won't talk to him and he came and said sorry and then repeated the same old stuff. Once he got too angry to bang a toy on my head and got a slap from his papa.

But this post is not about his behaviour but what happened after that.

His nanu called up and he came running to talk to nanu. He spoke continously to him for 15 minutes(he never speaks more than 2-3 minutes usually) in a low tone and when I asked phone he did not give me but cut it. So nanu called again and he spoke again for 5 mins and said okay bye and cut the phone.

I knew he was telling about day's events but did not know what was my papa speaking from other side.

So later in the night I called him up (since we were not able to speak) and he told me that Aryan told him that we scolded him and hit him. And when he asked Aryan , "Swati hai , Anupam hai" , he told that , "Dono hai , baat nahi karni".

And after that we got good scolding for scolding and hitting him.

So the other side of story was not even heard :( You tell me , is this court not biased ?

28 November 2008

Random Incidents

Long since I wrote a nice nice post for Aryan.It has been so many times that I thought that he said or did something so blog worthy but by the time I would get time to write I would forget all. So here are a few random things I can recall , before its too late.

1. I have a metrosexual man in my house , who is a little too enthusiastic about his looks. Every day he massages his hands and face with all the cream he can grab and the process takes a good 30-45 minutes. And he blames the kids in his day care to grab the bottle of cream. So this is like it goes :

Aryan : Mumma , Kaata (pointing at his wrist, with the bottle of cream in his hand)
Mumma : Kisne ?
Aryan : Aadi or Rishab or Paati or Aunty or mosquito(Basically whatever comes to his mouth first)
Mumma : Thik hai , cream laga lo
Aryan happily starts massaging where ever he wants with handful of cream

2. Its not that he is just worried about his own looks. I mean who wants a old wrinkled mom, to show off to friends. So he takes care of his lazy and careless mom too. He gives mom a facial and a manicure. Plus thai masaage on her legs too :-) Okay ..don't just start feeling J ladies.
But I am not lying. After he is done with himself , he starts massaging mumma's face and hands. And almost every night he comes with powder to massage my legs :-)


3. He is being crazy about Aeroplanes and Helicopters and he can hear them sound from anywhere and spot them from anywhere even in night sky. And he expects us also to do the same and when are not able to , he cries :-P Whats more funny is , he asks the aeroplanes and helicopters and birds to take him into their lap. He goes like "aeloplane godi" , "chiya godi" , "helitopter godi". During our diwali trip when he actually saw aeroplanes at the airport he was too excited and amazed. But when he sat inside one , he could not understand that he is actually inside the plane and wanted to go to all the other ones he could see. I tried too hard to explain that you are already in the plane but no use :P


4. From past 3 days he is telling be aphabets , as in ABCD. I do not know if he got from older kids in creche or from the lady in the creche. Although its not always in sequence but you can hear him saying 5-10 alphabets at random , which I think is good since I never taught him any. So the other day he was sating "B for ..." I was not able to get what he was trying to say after for. So I used all my vocabulary from ball to bat to boy etc. Finally I realized that it was butterfly :-)
And P for "peacock" , when I don't know if he knows what a peacock is :-)

5. Last but not the least. From past 2 days , our little dad makes both my and Anupam sleep on both his arms and pats our head and you should see the affection on his face :-)

My little sweetheart ..LOVE YOU !

4 November 2008

Men will be Men !

I have always believed that men are born with love for cars and bikes and whatever you do , it remains and it cannot be changed.

Aryan endorsed my belief. While I was just struggling to teach him the difference between a car and a bus and a truck. He was actually trying to figure out the difference between the Hyundai Santro and the Maruti Swift and the Honda City!

Believe it or not ! I never told him any car by its make, for I always feared of loading him off with too much of information. Nor did I expect him to distinctly tell which is his dad's car if there are 3 cars of the same colour in a row.

But last week he saw a silver Santro and told me that its Nanu's car. Okay ..I thought, conincidence. And then this week he saw a red swift and told Mama's car.Okay ..he is good, I thought. I tried with other red cars , but its only when its a red swift.

And then 2 days back he saw a grey Honda City and told me that its Tauji's car :O

30 October 2008

What is this ?

Yes , I am back from my vacation :-) We had a blast ! I will come back and post pics of Aryan having fun , but for now I have to catch up a lot of work ! So here is a quiz , what is that you see in the pic below :

Make your guess !




Editted to Add :

Most of you got it right , but I give it to -xh- for I loved the way he said it , "first steps in fruit carving... :)".

You know we moms , we see the scriblings by our kids as masterpieces , so why not the attempt to eat a big whole apple can be called carving :-)

7 October 2008

Mumma Kaun ?

He asks me to cover my self with the blanket as soon as we are in bed. When I do so , he asks me to keep my hands under the blanket and carefully tucks the blanket on sides.(I never did the same for him , atleast in his memory and I do not know from where he learnt this.)Then he lovingly keeps his hand on my cheek , the way I used to do some days back, till my hands were not buried under the blanket.


He asks me to go for bath , soon after he finishes his.


He doesnot allow me to walk bare foot for a second and runs to get my slippers each time he sees me barefoot.


He demands his Papa to remove shoes after office and wear slippers and also to change to nightwear.


The other day , I could not change to night wear due to some guest at home and decided to change after putting Aryan to sleep , but he did not allow me to lie down before I changed.


Now , I have a doubt , who is the Mom here?

Editted to Add :Yesterday it was one step further. He moved his little fingers from my forehead through my hair. (It was heavenly !) and then he patted my head and goes like "Aaaa Ummmm Aaaa , Mumma mumma soja". Funny but so cute , isn't it ?

29 September 2008

Titbits about Talking

I am back in office today after a bad bad week of Aryan being unwell. He looked fine today though appetite is almost nil. Lets us see how he recovers.


As of now some titbits about him talking. These days he tries to say all the words but nothing sounds like it should :D

1. As we all know about his love for cooking , these days he cooks in his OOKER (Cooker) , makes mumma taste , Mumma tells him that MNAK(Namak aka salt) is less and so some virtual salt is added to make the food YUMMY!

2. When papa mumma doesnot listen to Aryan's calls , he comes holds our hand and says "Papa getup!" , "Mumma getup!"

3. He loves haldirams khata meetha mixture and asks for it like "ATA EETA".

4. He says Happy Birthday to his toys like "HAPPY TO YOU!"

5. He says I LOVE YOU to his mumma like "I LUU U"

6. When he hits , bites or pinches and Mumma tells him , "NO HITTING,NO PINCHING, NO BITING" , he tells mumma "ARYAN BAHAR" , so he knows that the punishment is timeout in balcony with door closed (I did only once for 40 secs) and then immediately starts kissing mumma. Sometimes he bites me and tells "ARYAN KAATA"

7. You also know how much he loves washing clothes. So past week , with he being at home he wanted to wash clothes every day and since Mumma used to tell him no , he used to approach papa , "PAPA PACHIN" ," PAPA ACHHING PACHIN" (Papa Washing Machine). Papa would melt instantly , with Aryan being unwell and I do not know if two of them washed some washed clothes also ..LOL :D


Few more words that bring smiles are :


Andal : Sandal

Aupum : Anupam

Aati : Swati

Uuma : Ghumma (going for outing)

Uuaah : Muaah (he tells how older kids kiss him in day care)


There have to be many more but I cannot recall. Let me work now , as I am back after almost a week. Enough for the post anyways :-)

23 September 2008

I Hate September

September has always been a bad month in Aryan's Kingdom. Last year also Aryan was unwell every alternate week in the month of september and this year also its no different.

He has been having cough , cold , fever and now diarrohea all these days , every once in a while.

So if you wonder why is there no news on Aryan times , please bear with us. These days we cannot think beyond nebulization and smells of medicines.

11 September 2008

Ek Good News hai...

Hello All,


Ek good news hai...Main Bada Bhaiya ban gaya hoon ...BIG BROTHER !!


Ab koi mujhe CHOTU nahi bolega ..hurray !!


Areee nahii...Mumma baby nahi layi ..Mami layi ..ek new baby boy ..cute sa :)


Mami nahi samjhte ...offo ..Mumma's brother's wife ..okay !


So maine aur sabne mil ke ..mere naye bhai ka naam rakha hai .."Tejas"..acha hai na..

Vaise Mumma usko "Guruji" bolti hai ...kyoki woh teachers day(5th Sep) ko aaya na isliye..

Papa usko "Teja" bolte hai ...Bollywood ishtyle :D

Mamu usko "CHOTU" bolte hai ...HURRAYY !!

Nanu - Nani as usual usko bhi "Bhaiya" bolte hai ..but Bhaiya toh main hoon na ???

Maine usse Baby bolunga ...baby bhi acha naam hai na ???

PHOTO ..Haan hai ..but mumma ne bola main maami se poochke hi aap logo ko dikha sakta hoon ..aur abhi maine maami se nahi poocha ...so no photo for now :)

9 September 2008

I love you for ..

The way you make a dent on our cheeks with you index finger , each time you wish to implant a kiss.

The way you came and patted my cheeks every now and then , when I was unwell last week. And some times slapped in anger too , for not getting up to play with you.

The way you say an unexpected "thank you" when I do a tiny winy thing for you or sometimes even when I kiss you.

The way you keep on kissing me , till I say thank you and remind me to say , if I forget.

The way you dance to see me in the evening when you reach home earlier than I do.

The way you lie down between me and you papa and demands to do a 1-2-3 kiss (where mumma papa kiss the baby together at 3)

The way you cry when I dont cover myself , yes MYSELF with a blanket at night or when I don't wear slippers.

The way you turn side as soon as I cover you with a blanket , even if you are in your deepest sleeps.

The way you hold your cheeks in your left hand to open your mouth for the spoon of medicine when you are unwell. The way you think that thats the only way medicine spoon goes in!

The way you play in water and giggle.

The way you still remember when and where did I get hurt and remind me each time when I reach the spot , "Mumma Chot".

The way you ask me about each of your loved ones and precious things before bedtime and don't sleep till I tell you that all of them have slept.

The way you "SHOW OFF" all your toys and ishtyles to your Nanu-Nani and Dadu-Dadi over the phone , thinking that they can see all.

The way you tell Nanu , "Godi.." and say "B-Bye Mumma , B-Bye Papa" , thinking that you can go to Nanu's lap through phone.

The way you walk in the balcony with phone in your hand , immitating papa's style.

...all this and all the rest too!

24 August 2008

Aryan on his bicycle

A video for Nanu Nani to see Aryan using his Birthday gift :-)

21 August 2008

25 months

I have not updated this page from a long time now and today I realized that I have so much to write that I do not know what to write :-P

Since today is 21st and Aryan turned 25 months old today, let me do a post today atleast.

So as you know my parents came for 10 days and Aryan was overwhelmed with their love and all the attention that he got. He used to be super excited all the time, dancing in happiness. He started repeating all the talks happening around. He discovered silly games, like standing on my papa’s hand and him saying “Uuii Uuuii” in pain and pulling his hand back and running in the balcony to see who will touch the wall on the opposite side first.

Then on 30th July , when they had to go back I did not know how will Aryan react. We went to drop them to railway station. We did counseling to Aryan 2 days in advance. Thankfully he did not cry , though he was sad.

Next morning my in laws came and Aryan wanted them to play the same silly games with him that he played with Nana Nani. For a day or two he missed nana nani badly inspite of having a great time with dadu dadi. And then he discovered a different set of silly games to play with the different set of grandparents.

In all we had a over excited, bubbly, naughty and happy baby for about a month, who enjoyed all the attention and love showered upon him 24 by 7.

My in laws went back on 13th Aug . Aryan as expected is missing all the fun badly. But at the same time he has been a good baby and managing well.

There were a few incidents , who may not be so significant to anyone from a third person’s perspective , but to me they give me some insight about my son’s personality.

So I would like to list them here :

On of the days, my MIL fell down while she was coming back after giving Aryan a bath. And Aryan who saw her falling down and was alone in the room got too scared and started crying. As she got up and hugged Aryan, Aryan patted her back and kissed her back , several times during the day and next few days. She told me that Aryan was scared when she wanted to take him to bath the next day, thinking that dadi might fall again. It was then that I discovered how caring and sensitive my little boy is. I mean I always thought that he is a sensitive child but the way he behaved to his dadi’s injury was beyond my expectation at his age.

I always wondered how Aryan will react to a sibling or a kid in house. I got chance when Anupam’s cousin came to stay over for a weekend with her 4 years old daughter. The two kids behaved just as expected. Hugging and cuddling each other one moment and fighting over a toy the next moment. Looking for each other if one is missing and fighting over the laps of their mothers. Aryan enjoyed her company for 2 days and literally missed her for days after she was gone.

On one of those two days when the two kids were playing with same colored balloons , Aryan’s balloon went out of his reach and so he grabbed the little girl’s balloon. As obvious , she started crying. It was then , I got Aryan’s balloon back to him. On getting his own balloon back, Aryan went and gave the little girl hers and kissed and hugged her. So I don’t know what should I conclude f rom the incident , which shows me two sides of same coin.

Enough for the post :-)

29 July 2008

Traditional Expression of Love

Aryan has always had different and innovative ways for expressing love. Read that all here and here and here and here.

But these days he is moving towards the traditional ways. Whenever he is happy with papa or mumma , he showers him or her with loads of kisses , on both the cheeks. But there are times when he feels thats not enough and what does he do then ? He holds papa or Mumma's face with both hands and give a kiss on lips :-O

And yes , just to clarify , Aryan is not fond of watching TV and his papa or mummy are not the teachers of this new lesson ;-)

21 July 2008

A Three Day Birthday!

Birthdays are always special and his was special too , in its own little ways,

My parents came on 18th for his birthday , a kick start to birthday !! He was thrilled to see them. And the gifts they got for him. So here is how was his 3 day birthday!

He went with his papa and Nanu to get his bicycle assembled and and was happy to get his first vehicle on 19th , birthday gift 2 days in advance :D




After he came back I asked him to say thank you to Nanu and give him a kiss. He obeyed shyly. He said "Than Kuu" to nanu without looking at him from my lap , his first thank you to anyone ever and then he went running to give a kiss to nanu , his first kiss to nanu.

Plus there was a folding chair , that folds like an umbrella and Aryan enjoyed immitating Papa and Nanu :)





On sunday , we started off for a lunch to the place he enjoyed when we went there for the first time. He enjoyed this time as well and sat beside the pool. He actually wanted to jump in the pool , had I not been there. I did not let him due to recent cold and cough.






On the way back we went to Spar for our weekly grocery shopping and he kept on checking for his nanu nani and made sure that they don't go in different direction and sit in the car as we move.

In the evening , he took the nap he missed and then played and played and played. He also explored his new books sent to him as gift from Mamu.






While he played , I spread out a kiddy bedsheet on our bed (he sleeps with us) with Pooh bear and friends. So when he came to bedroom (at 11.30 after lot of pushing from us) he was thrilled to see the bedsheet. So while we were in bed he tried to push me to the edge , saying "Hato", to be able to see all the cartoons.




He did not sleep till 12 and played between both of us. So at 12 both of sang Happy Birthday to him and he was excited and happy and I could see an overwhemling expression in his eyes , which made my day ! Soon after receiving wishes , he started snoring and so did we.

Morning I got up usual and filled loads of balloons and pasted a birthday banner and few cartoon stickers. As soon as he woke up he was happy to see all that was around. Forgot about his morning milk for 30 minutes. He was told that it was his happy birthday today (he was being told from last few days) and he said , "Happy ady" , yeah something like that:)






All the family called up to wish him and who would not enjoy that attention. He was hugged and kissed every 5 minutes and he had a blast.

He was dressed up in a kurta pajama around 12 ish and and we went to his day care for cake cutting (Yeah we decided for afternoon , because all the kids of his age group are there and are active at that time , plus I have evening calls at office and cannot miss them). He thought we went to leave him , though I had told him that he will be back with us. Plus it was almost his nap time and so he wanted to sleep , attributed to late sleeping the previous day. So he did get a little cranky to see the day care. But the cake cutting went well. Kids were excited to see cake and whistles and masks and return gifts. All of them enjoyed and sang Happy Birthday and wished Aryan. Aryan enjoyed the attention and waved them bye in the end with flying kisses. He was too happy on way back home , attributed to all the attention and the fact that he will be going HOME with NANU NANI :)




I made him sleep as soon as we reached home and then Anupam I pushed off to our offices for the second half of the day. Night , we spent time chit chatting and playing with Aryan and having some good food.

So that was it ..the much awaited Birthday of my little prince !

Happy Birthday Son!

On your second Birthday , I have no words to express my feelings , and so this is my attempt in paint , to tell you what I would like to say :


Happy Birthday!!

With Love , your papa and Mumma

20 July 2008

Aryan's Birthday Gift from Nana Nani



Editted to Add :
Sorry everyone , I just uploaded this pic and I wanted to write and publish it later, but I don't know how I published it. Anyways , will upload more pics and write a detailed post soon.

So this is Aryan's Birthday Gift from Nana - Nani and he is having a blast today. Details later.

THANKS FOR ALL YOUR WISHES !!

18 July 2008

Day After Tomorrow is my NEWEST FRIEND's Birthday !

Happy Birthday To



14 July 2008

Happy Happy Saturday!

A blog pal hosted a party on saturday and here is what Aryan was upto :-)







9 July 2008

The Latest Sensation in Music Industry

The Indian music industry has found a new talented singer and composer. His first song has won the heart of Papa dear , Taiji dear and Mommy dear. He sung the song on phone for taiji and ever since then , you can find papa humming the song all the time.

The song goes like this , "Jaba Jaba Jabaaaa, Jaba Jaba Jabaaaa".

Lyrics , ohh lyrics no longer have a meaning in this industry , it should be hummable , thats it. And may be the new talent is inspired by Himesh Reshamya :-)

7 July 2008

Papa's Boy

His papa is his role model in everything. Whatever papa does is the best. Whatever papa use is the best. And he takes good care of papa's belongings as well.

He runs to get his papa's shoes every day. And he understands and get another pair when papa says , "Nahi Beta , not this , other one." He stands at the door with a towel for the papa. He runs to get papa's specs as soon as papa comes out of bathroom.

Day before yesterday, we went out a nearby restaurant for evening snacks. It was one of those self service kinds. So while his papa went to fetch the food , I saw that Aryan is looking at someone. I tried to call him , but he gave no response.He was standing close to another table and staring 2 people , who were having coffee. On giving a closer look , I saw that a pair of glasses were kept on the table. I got worried of him going and picking it. Thats when he turned to me , pointing at the glasses and said , "Papa" in a very helpless tone. I explained that papa has his glasses and thats Uncles.

He immitates Anupam in his habits as well. He makes noise like his papa , while brushing. He roam around in balcony with mobile phone on his years and talk in gibberish with someone. This includes , "Hello" ,"hahahaah" and "Bye" as well.
He likes using papa's pillow and he slowly slip from his pillow to his papa's until papa decide to swap the pillows and give him what he wants.

Whatever papa does is right and so when papa covers himself with a quilt he demands mumma to do so as well. But here he refuses to immitate papa himself.

So I am seeing a papa's boy in making :-)

2 July 2008

The Way He Expresses Himself

These days, Aryan does certain things which make us flow in the oceans of positive and negative emotions all at the same time and some times we do not know how to react. Trying to list a few of them :

Anupam and I have been taking turns for having dinner. Anupam used to have his dinner while I fed Aryan and then I used to have dinner after they are done.

But from past few days , Aryan wants to eat with papa. And so he bangs on to papa's plate as soon as papa sits with the plate. Anupam happily tries to feed him. But No. Aryan wants to change places. He wants to feed papa and to himself. Though it is a lovely scene , he messes up the food, Anupam and himself.And leaves his papa irritated.

Don't you think I am spared. The story repeats when I sit to eat. I really love the way he feeds me lovingly and the way he makes a "Yummy , isn't it" face as the spoon goes in my mouth ,exactly the way I do when I feed him. Yeah but then after the process is done I need to clean up all the mess.

Some times while I play with him he feels an overflow of emotions. He expresses himself by showering with kisses.At times, he holds my face in his hands and look at me with loads of love. While at times , he doesnot know what to do. And so he hits me , scratches me , bite me and pull my hair. I really don't know how to control him at that time.And he leaves me irritated as well.

Mornings when I go for a bath, after Aryan and Anupam are already ready, he cries like hell. Sometimes Anupam is able to distract him but at times , he cries like I have gone forever. One way I feel how much he wants me , at the same time I feel like , can I not even bath at peace.

These days during sleep , he loves to cling to his papa.With papa not being habitual of Aryan disturbing him during sleep, he gets irritated.

29 June 2008

When Aryan Cooks

Just a glimpse of various dishes cooked by the great chef !!


Cooking Breakfast


Garlic is good for health


Cardboard Blocks with potatoes for Lunch


Apart from these , he cooks Coloured blocks with potatoes , Stuffed Full onions , Stuffed Tomatoes , Lego Blocks Korma etc. To conserve energy he always uses pressure cooker.

18 June 2008

Quirky or Cute ?

1. He cannot see Mummy or papa barefoot. He runs to get slippers for us. One day, he woke up at midnight due to cough. So while he was awake, he started crying because I was standing barefoot :-P.

2. He feels that the cook needs all the vessels in the house for cooking and keep giving him one after the other.

3. He thinks that only Nanu(My father) calls me on my phone , so if its my phone , he needs to talk to Nanu.

4. He loves his shoes and so if you wish to remove his pants , do it without removing the shoes.

5. If Mumma opens the window in the car , papa should follow and vice versa. And why can the AC be not on , with glasses down.

6. He calls me papa at times.

7. Whenever he sees a Auto Ricshaw on the road, he says "auto" and continue repeating till I say "Yes Auto". Now considering the amount of autos on Bangalore roads , you can imagine the situation.

8. When in bedroom, he hears every auto going on the road , he shouts "AUTO".

9. When Anupam goes to bath, he stands at the door , with his own towel and knocks and says "TOWEL"


10. When he brushes, he imitates the sounds Anupam makes while cleaning his tongue.

15 June 2008

Collage & Painting

These days we are trying to occupy Aryan into something constructive. So we made some collages and paintings. The first one using stickers(don't remember date) and the 2nd and 3rd using cuttings from news paper and magzine(7th June 2008). I wanted to use fruits theme but when we were done with fruits , Aryan still wanted to do more. So Anupam cut out whatever made sense to Aryan and I applied glue and aryan pasted.






The painting was also done on 7th June.

6 June 2008

Taare Zameen Par

Aryan creates his own sky, right under our roof with mummy/papa's help. Papa/Mummy make the celestial bodies and Aryan paste them to the sky. And who said that sky can only be light blue and not light yellow ????






P.S: Don't worry, play doh is given under strict supervison only.

3 June 2008

Fun at Anupam's Office

Anupam's company celebrated family day on last Saturday(They do it every year). Aryan was thrilled to see the stage. He wanted to shake a leg on the music and so I let him go on the stage , till they started the event.The event was nice and the theme was fims of 70's. I must say that they had put in lot of hardwork and money. The food and snacks were great as well.

After the cultural event started , Aryan got uneasy due to the loud music. And so we went upstairs to Anupam's desk. Aryan ran around the whole office , while I peeped into the balconies to see the dances.

There was a carnival as well in the basement.The theme was again the 70's. They had sugar cane juice , popcorns , Tatoos , Caricature , pottery , bouncy,Merry Go Round and SO MANY things there Aryan enjoyed the Merry Go Round.

We could not click to many pics as we were too busy enjoying :-P But you can have a glimpse :

"Shake a leg"


"My Car"


"Dadu Kind of Scooter"

"Pot Making"

"Run"

"Run Fast"

:-)

"Mumma's Glares"

"Masti :-)"

"Playing with my NEWEST Friend"